ʻO ka gynecologist ʻo Miriam Al Adib, ka mea kākau o 'E kamaʻilio kākou e pili ana i ka wā ʻōpio… A e pili ana i ka wahine, a me ke aloha, a me ka mahalo, a me nā mea hou aku', i manaʻo ʻia he mea nui ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o kēia pae o ke ola a me ka wā ʻōpio. "ʻO ka wā ʻōpio kahi manaʻo olaola kahi e hoʻomaka ai nā hormones me ka hoʻāla ʻana i ka moe kolohe, kahi e oʻo ai nā kino wahine ...; ʻo ia hoʻi, ʻoi aku ka biology. Eia naʻe, ʻo ka wā ʻōpio ka hoʻololi ʻana mai ka wā kamaliʻi a hiki i ke kanaka makua me nā mea a pau e pili ana i kēia ʻaʻole wale ma kahi pae biological, akā ma kahi pae psychosocial.
-Ke hopohopo nei nā mākua he nui i ka wā e kamaʻilio ai i kā lākou poʻe ʻōpio e pili ana i ka hoʻonaʻauao wahine no ka mea e hoʻomau ʻia ana ia he kumuhana kapu ma nā hale he nui. Ke hoʻomaka lākou i loko, lawe lākou i ka manawa e haʻi koke iā lākou e pili ana i ke koʻikoʻi o ka hoʻohana ʻana i ka condom e pale aku ai i ka hāpai ʻana a me nā maʻi moekolohe. ʻO kēlā hoʻonaʻauao wahine?
-ʻAe, he mea nui ia e hana, akā ʻaʻole ia ka hoʻonaʻauao wahine. ʻO ke kamaʻilio wale ʻana e pili ana i nā ʻāpana maikaʻi ʻole a pau o ka moekolohe a me kāna mau pōʻino āpau ʻaʻole ia ka hoʻonaʻauao wahine. ʻAe, he ʻāpana ia o ka pale olakino, akā ʻaʻole ʻo ka hoʻonaʻauao wahine. No ka hoʻomaka ʻana, pono mākou e hoʻomaopopo i ka moekolohe kanaka a, e like me ka wehewehe ʻana e ka WHO, he ʻano kikowaena ia o ke kanaka mai ka hānau ʻana a hiki i ka make ʻana, ʻo ia wale nō ka mea i hōʻike ʻokoʻa i loko o ke ola. ʻO ka mea maʻamau ka lohe ʻana o ka poʻe i ka moekolohe ma ke ʻano he synonym no ka moekolohe, ʻaʻole like ia. ʻO ia hoʻi, ʻo ka moekolohe kekahi ʻāpana o ka moekolohe kanaka a hoʻomaka ia mai ka moena, pili wale i ke ʻano o ka paʻa e ulu me kou makuahine i nā makahiki mua o ke ola. Ua lilo kēia ʻoiaʻiʻo i ʻāpana o ka hoʻonaʻauao wahine. A aia kekahi mau ʻano o ka hoʻopili: palekana, hopohopo, pale, a me ka hoʻopili ʻana i hui pū ʻia o nā mea ʻelua. E hoʻoikaika nui ana lākou a pau i ke ʻano āu e kamaʻilio ai i ka wā makua me nā kāne.
No laila, hoʻohālike ʻia ka hoʻonaʻauao ʻana i ka moe kolohe mai ka moena, e hoʻomaka ana me ka laʻana a mākou e hāʻawi ai i nā mākua i ka pēpē, e hana ana i kahi wahi palekana a aloha i hiki ai iā lākou ke hoʻomaopopo i ke ao nei he wahi e hiki ai iā lākou ke hoʻokumu i nā pilina pili like me ka ʻole o kēia mau pilikia. o ka noho aupuni ana, ka waiho ana, a pela aku. ʻO ka poʻe i hānai ʻia me ka hoʻopaʻa paʻa paʻa i ke ʻano o ke kanaka makua e lilo i poʻe paʻa, e loaʻa nā pilina symmetrical, me ka ʻole o ka nui o ka hana keaka i ka wā, no ka laʻana, ua haki ko lākou pilina.
I ka hihia o ke kanaka me ka hopohopo pili, he kanaka hilinaʻi loa i ka naʻau, pono e hōʻike ʻia ke aloha i nā manawa āpau ... . ʻO ka pili kokoke i ke ʻano hoʻopili paʻa, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kā mākou pilina. No kēia kumu, mai ka wā i hānau ʻia ai mākou e loaʻa ana kēia ʻano hoʻonaʻauao moe kolohe. ʻO ka mea e hiki mai ana he mea maikaʻi ke lohe i ke ʻano o ka hopena o kēia pae mua o ke ola i ka hopena o kā mākou pilina ma ke ʻano he kāne. Aia kekahi pae koʻikoʻi ʻē aʻe ʻo ia ka ʻōpio e pili ana i ke ʻano o ko mākou manaʻo i ka moekolohe.
- He nui nā mākua i ka wā e kamaʻilio ai e pili ana i ka hoʻonaʻauao moe kolohe me kā lākou mau keiki i ka wā ʻaʻohe kanaka i kamaʻilio me lākou e pili ana i ka moekolohe i ko lākou wā ʻōpiopio a kūpono paha ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike i kahi e hoʻomaka ai. He aha kāu e ʻōlelo ai iā lākou?
ʻAʻole noʻonoʻo ka hoʻonaʻauao ʻana i ka moekolohe “Ua ulu ʻo Manolito. E ʻōlelo mākou e makaʻala ʻoe e ʻike inā e hoʻolaha ana ʻoe i nā maʻi a puni i laila, e hoʻopaʻa iā lākou a i ʻole e hoʻokau i kahi hāpai i makemake ʻole ʻia". ʻAʻole kēlā. Ke loaʻa iā mākou ka hilinaʻi o nā keiki a ʻoluʻolu a palekana lākou me ko lākou mau mākua, ke loaʻa iā lākou kekahi hopohopo, e nīnau lākou iā lākou. Eia nō naʻe, inā loaʻa iā mākou nā moʻolelo koʻikoʻi ma ke ʻano he poʻe mākua, e hoʻomau mākou iā lākou. ʻO ka hopena, loaʻa iā mākou nā mea e nānā ai no ka mea ma o kā mākou moʻomeheu e loaʻa ai nā kapu he nui e pono e ʻike ʻia i ʻole ka palena. No laila, no ka hāʻawi ʻana i ka hoʻonaʻauao wahine maikaʻi, pono nā mākua e aʻo iā lākou iho i kēia mea. Eia kekahi laʻana, e like me ka pilina o ka makuahine me kona kino a i ʻole me kona haʻalele ʻana, pēlā nō kāna kaikamahine. Inā haʻi mau ke kaikamahine i nā memo o "yuck the period, how horrible, it is that men i nā mea a pau i maʻalahi loa", e noʻonoʻo ke kaikamahine i ke ʻano like. Inā hoʻouna ʻoe i kēia mau ʻano memo i nā manawa a pau, ke aʻo nei ʻoe i kēia ʻano ma ke ʻano maikaʻi ʻole.
He nui nā lālā o ka hoʻonaʻauao wahine a loaʻa i loko o ka ʻohana ponoʻī. Eia hou, he mea nuiʻaʻole e hoʻokaʻawale i ka hoʻonaʻauaoʻana i ka moekolohe mai ka affective, emotional, love, respect, health bonds, pleasure... ʻO ia hoʻi, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻalele i ka ʻāpana maikaʻi a pau o ka wahine. Inā mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka hewa o ka moekolohe, e ʻimi mau lākou a e noʻonoʻo inā he ʻino a hele lākou i ka pūnaewele, a ma ka pūnaewele ʻaʻohe mea maikaʻi no kēia mea.
-E haʻi ʻoe i ka huaʻōlelo hilinaʻi ma waena o nā mākua a me nā keiki. Ma kāu puke e kamaʻilio pū ai ʻoe e pili ana i kou kahaha ʻana i ka wā e ʻike ʻia ai kahi makuahine me kāna kaikamahine ʻōpio a kamaʻilio mālie lākou i kā lākou kānalua a me nā mea āpau a lākou e makemake ai e nīnau iā ʻoe. No ke aha he mea maʻamau?
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ka nui o nā ʻōpio e hele pū me ko lākou mau makuahine a nīnau i nā nīnau me ka pilikia ʻole. Akā, aia kekahi mau pilikia i kakaikahi loa e ʻike ʻia ma ke kūkākūkā ʻana, e like me ke kau ʻana i ka ʻeha i ka wā o ka moekolohe a he mea nui ke pale aku i nā pilikia i ka lā ʻapōpō a i kou ola a pau. He kapu nui ka eha o ka moe kolohe. ʻAʻole ʻaʻa maʻamau ka ʻōpio e haʻi aku ia mea i kona makuahine, a inā ʻo ia, a laila haʻi paha ka makuahine iā ia "he aha kāu e haʻi mai nei iaʻu" a ʻaʻole mālama. He kumuhana paʻakikī loa iā lākou ke kūkākūkā. I kekahi manawa ua hele mai kekahi makuahine me kāna kaikamahine 19 makahiki i ʻeha i ka moe kolohe a haʻi aku wau iā ia "maikaʻi, no ka mea hiki iā mākou ke hana i kēia manawa" ʻoiai ua hālāwai au me nā wahine he 40 a me 50 mau makahiki i loaʻa. ua hoʻohana i ko lākou ola a pau i ka ʻeha i ka wā e moe ai a ua hoʻopilikia iā lākou i kā lākou pilina. Loaʻa iā lākou nā pilina e leʻaleʻa i kā lākou hoa, akā ʻaʻole lākou leʻaleʻa a ʻeha, a i ʻole kekahi poʻe e hoʻāʻo e pale i ka pilina a manaʻo kā lākou hoa aloha ʻaʻole lākou i aloha iā ia, ʻaʻole loa i loaʻa i nā wahine ʻē aʻe he hoa ma hope o ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi ʻike maikaʻi ʻole. no ka mea, manaʻo lākou he mea ʻē ko lākou i loko o kona ʻōpū... Ke loaʻa iaʻu kēia ʻano hihia, minamina nui wau no ka mea hiki ke kamaʻilio a mālama ʻia. ʻO Vaginismus, ʻo ia ka ʻoki ʻana o nā ʻiʻo, he mea pinepine ia, a he mea i nīnau ʻole ʻia e nā wahine he nui a loaʻa ka hopena.
-He aha nā mea kānalua loa o ka poʻe ʻōpio āu e ʻike ai ma ke kūkākūkā ʻana?
ʻAe, nīnau liʻiliʻi ka hapa nui. A i ka wā e hana ai lākou he mea maʻamau ia no ka pale ʻana. ʻO ia ka mea e hopohopo nui ai iā lākou. I kēlā me kēia hihia, ua ho'āʻo mau wau e wehewehe i nā mea hou aʻe i mea e noʻonoʻo ai lākou e pili ana i ka hoʻonaʻauao moe kolohe a me nā nāwaliwali ʻē aʻe e ʻike ʻia ai lākou, e like me kēlā mau pilina i ka wā āu e makemake ai, ke ala āu e makemake ai. Ma ʻaneʻi ʻaʻohe ʻano kuleana, ʻaʻole pono e hana ʻia i mea e nānā maikaʻi ai, ʻaʻole no ka mea ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻopā ai, akā ʻo ka moekolohe ka mea āu e makemake ai a hauʻoli, ʻaʻole lākou i manaʻo he aie lākou i kekahi, ʻaʻole hoʻi pono e hoʻomanawanui i kekahi mau mea... Aneane maopopo, akā pono e ʻōlelo ʻia.
-ʻOi loa inā loaʻa iā lākou ka ʻike he nui e hele mai ana ma o nā pale, ʻaʻole?
ʻAe, ʻae, pono e ʻōlelo ʻia no ka mea, ʻo kekahi mau kaikamahine, ma muli o kēia stereotype o ka wahine hyper-sexualized i ʻike ʻia ma nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni, manaʻoʻiʻo ua ʻoi aku ka waiwai o ka hyper-sexualized, a hoʻopau lākou i ka poina i ko lākou leʻaleʻa, ʻoiai. inā e hāʻawi ʻia ka wahi i kekahi kanaka ʻaʻole no ʻoe, ua like ia me kahi hoʻololi. Hāʻawi wau i wahi no ʻoe a hoʻolohe mai ʻoe iaʻu. ʻO ia kekahi mau mea aʻu i ʻike ai i ka ʻeha i kekahi manawa no ka mea he hopena koʻikoʻi lākou i ke olakino a, no ka laʻana, ʻo kahi mea aʻu e haʻi mau nei iā lākou inā ʻeha ia ʻaʻole ia he mea maʻamau. ʻO kekahi mea i loaʻa iā ʻoe ka ʻehaʻeha i ka manawa mua, a ʻo kekahi he mea hiki ʻole a ʻeha paha ʻoe i kēlā me kēia manawa āu e moe ai. Pono e mālama ʻia kēia no ka mea me ka vaginismus ʻoi aku ka nui o kou hoʻāʻo ʻana e moe, ʻoi aku ka nui o nā contractures e loaʻa i nā ʻiʻo o ka papahele pelvic.
- Nā manaʻo e pili ana i ka moekolohe o nā wahine. Pehea e hiki ai i ka poʻe ʻōpio ke loaʻa i kēlā mau memo a pau mai nā moʻolelo kīwī, ʻo nā mele hoʻi, e hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻopiʻi i nā wahine?
He nui ka poʻe ʻōpio e ʻōlelo nei "Ua manaʻo wau he mea ʻē aʻe kēia mea pili wahine", me he mea lā ua huhū loa lākou. He pilina ko lākou no ka mea manaʻo lākou ua hiki i ka manawa a manaʻo lākou "pehea wau e hele ai i kahi ala ʻē aʻe?".
-Ke hana nei lākou i kiʻi i manaʻo nui ʻia?
ʻO kekahi. A no kēlā kiʻi o ka wahine hyper-sexualized i lohe ʻaʻole no ʻoe ia wahi, akā no kekahi. No laila, i ka hopena, ua huikau mākou i ke kūʻokoʻa moe kolohe me ka hypersexualization, ʻokoʻa. Ma mua, ua kapu ko mākou mau kupuna wahine i ka wahine puʻupaʻa a hiki i ka male ʻana, akā i kēia manawa ua loaʻa iā mākou kekahi. ʻAʻole naʻe i loaʻa iā mākou, akā ua loli nā kapu.
-ʻO wai paha?
I ke au o nā kupuna wahine hou, ua like ka moekolohe me ka hana hou, a i ka wā hou, ua like ia me ka hoʻokomo. Akā, ma mua a ma kēia manawa hoʻomau kēia mau kāne-wahine, penis-vagina stereotypes ..., akā ma mua a ma kēia manawa nā wahine nā mea a ʻo nā kāne ke kumuhana. Ma mua o mākou he mau mea o ka hānau ʻana, no ka mea, ua like ka moekolohe me ka hana hou ʻana, a i kēia manawa nā mea leʻaleʻa, no ka mea, ua like ka moekolohe me ka leʻaleʻa. ʻO ke kumu hoʻohālike maikaʻi o ka wahine i ka wā o ko mākou mau kupuna wahine, ʻo ia ka wahine maʻemaʻe i ʻike iā ia iho he puʻupaʻa a hiki i ka male ʻana a hānau keiki na ke kāne. A, i kēia manawa, ʻo ke kumu hoʻohālike maikaʻi ʻo ka wahine sexualized, linear a hypersexualized e ʻoluʻolu. He nui ka poʻe sociologists e ʻōlelo aʻo nei e pili ana i kēia ʻano no ka mea ʻaʻahu nā kaikamahine i nā paepae mai ka wā kamaliʻi, nā bikini me ka pale i loko o ke kapa, ka lole kahu hānai no nā kaikamahine ʻekolu makahiki… A he aha ka mea? ʻAe, ua hoʻomaopopo wale lākou ʻo kā lākou kuleana, ʻo ia ka mea o ka leʻaleʻa ʻoiai inā haʻalele lākou, ua hiki iā lākou ke kau i kā lākou iho. ʻAʻole i maʻalahi ka moe kolohe a ʻaʻole i hoʻokaʻawale ʻia mai ʻoe iho. ʻIke wau i kēlā me kēia lā.
-Ma kāu puke e kamaʻilio pū ʻoe e pili ana i nā R ʻekolu e pono ai no kahi pilina olakino maikaʻi. He aha kāu?
ʻAe, mahalo, kuleana a me ka pānaʻi. Ka mahalo a me ke kuleana ma loko a ma waho. Pono ʻoe e mahalo i kou kino a me ke kino ʻē aʻe, no kou mau manaʻo, no nā manaʻo o kekahi... He mea kūpono loa i ke kanaka ke makemake e launa pū me kekahi a ʻaʻole makemake i kahi pilina koʻikoʻi. he ku i ke kanawai ʻO ia hoʻi, he mea koʻikoʻi ke kuleana affective ma ka mahalo, ma ke kuleana, a ma loko a ma waho. ʻO ia hoʻi, pono iaʻu e mahalo iaʻu iho a inā ʻaʻohe oʻu makemake moe kolohe i kēia manawa, no ke aha wau e ʻae ai i kahi mea aʻu i manaʻo ʻole ai. Pono mau ke kaulike a me ka pānaʻi. Inā pēlā, ʻaʻohe pilikia. E lilo i ʻano kaʻana like o ka moekolohe. ʻO kekahi mea ʻē aʻe he asymmetry kahi e kaumaha ai ke kanaka ma mua o ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi wahi. A ʻo ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻo ia ka mea nāna e hoʻohana a hoʻohana iā ʻoe e like me ka lole. ʻAʻole kēia he mahalo, ʻaʻole kuleana, ʻaʻole hoʻi he pānaʻi. No nā mea a pau e hana, hiki i nā R ʻekolu ke noho mau. A laila ua nui nā ʻano pilina a ʻoiai aia kēia mau R ʻekolu ua kūpono lākou a pau.
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