He palupalu mākou a pau, a i ʻole aia kekahi mau ʻano a i ʻole nā kūlana e hana ai iā mākou pēlā. ʻO ka manaʻo nāwaliwali a ʻoluʻolu ʻole paha i kekahi mau manawa ka mea e hana ai mākou i ke kanaka, akā pono mākou e aʻo e hana me ia i mea liʻiliʻi e hoʻopilikia iā mākou.
ʻO ka psychologist Miguel Ángel Rizaldos, he loea i ka Clinical Psychology a me ka ʻoi aku o 30 mau makahiki o ka ʻike, aʻo iā mākou i kāna puke hou 'Is Being Fragile Bad?' Ua ʻae ʻo (Current Platform) i kēia mau manaʻo a mākou i manaʻo ai he maikaʻi ʻole a ua hoʻohana i nā ʻano mea hana i mālama ʻia e kā mākou kōkua.
ʻO Miguel Ángel Rizaldos, mea kālaiʻike loea i ka Clinical Psychology a me ka mea kākau o 'Is Being Fragile Bad?' – Hāʻawi ʻia ke kiʻi
He aha nā hiʻohiʻona e ʻoi aku ka palupalu?
He hui ia o na ano. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o ka nui o ka naʻauao, no ka laʻana, hiki ke lilo i ʻelua ʻaoʻao, no ka mea, he mea maikaʻi loa ia i ke aʻo ʻana, ka noʻonoʻo ʻana a me ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i nā pilikia, akā e noʻonoʻo hou ai ʻoe.
A e like me kēia, nui nā mea ʻē aʻe: ka hilahila a i ʻole ka hilahila, ka perfectionism, e hilinaʻi ana i nā mea ʻē aʻe e hauʻoli ...
ʻO kēlā manaʻo nui a i ʻole ka mea i kapa ʻia he rumination, hiki ke hoʻopau ʻia?
Hoʻokahi mea a mākou e maopopo ai, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻomalu i kā mākou manaʻo, manaʻo a hoʻomanaʻo. Akā ʻo ka mea hiki iā mākou ke hoʻomalu i ka mea a mākou e hoʻolohe ai. Ke loaʻa iā mākou kahi manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole, ʻo ka mea maʻamau iā mākou e hoʻāʻo e wehe i waho o ko mākou poʻo. No laila ke hoʻāʻo nei mākou e hoʻopaʻapaʻa a hoʻopaʻapaʻa e kiʻi iā ia e haʻalele. Ua aʻo mākou i ka psychology ʻo ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e wehe i kahi manaʻo e hoʻopau iā ia ʻaʻole pono. ʻO ka hana ka mea a mākou i kapa ai he defusion, ka mea e hoʻāʻo e hāʻawi i ka mea nui i nā mea a pau āu e manaʻo ai, no ka mea, ʻaʻole nā mea a pau āu e manaʻo ai, ma ka noʻonoʻo wale ʻana, he waiwai a koʻikoʻi paha. No ka loaʻa ʻana iā ʻoe, ʻaʻole ia he mea ʻoiaʻiʻo a i hoʻokumu ʻia ma ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, akā he mea pono ia iā ʻoe.
Ke kamaʻilio ʻo ia no ka hilahila a me ka hilahila. Aia kahi ala e hoʻololi ai i kahi mea maikaʻi a i ʻole kahi hopena i ko mākou ola?
I Iapana, aloha ʻia ka hilahila a me ka hilahila ma ke ʻano he ʻano maikaʻi; Eia naʻe, ma ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa, manaʻo paha lākou he pilikia. ʻOi aku ka makaʻala o kēia poʻe a emi ʻole ka lawe ʻana i ka pilikia a i kekahi manawa hoʻōki i ka hana ʻana no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou i manaʻo i kēia mau manaʻo.
ʻO ke kanaka ke hilahila ʻaʻole ia e lilo i pilina lehulehu. ʻAʻole ia e pili ana i ka hoʻololi radically, akā ʻo ka manaʻo e ʻae ʻoe i kēlā nāwaliwali a loaʻa iā ʻoe nā hoʻolālā e hoʻokō ai, ʻaʻole ia e hoʻokaumaha iā ʻoe a ʻaʻole ʻoe e hoʻōki i ka hana ʻana ma muli o ia.
He maʻalahi ke ʻulaʻula a hilahila. Hiki ke mālama ʻia kēia?
He mea ia a makou e ike pinepine ai ma ke kukakuka ana. Hele pū ka psychological a me ka physiological. E pili ana kēia pane i ke ʻano o kou mālama ʻana i kou mau manaʻo a me kou mau manaʻo. A he ʻoiaʻiʻo aia nā hoʻolālā no ʻoe e hana i ke ala maikaʻi loa. Eia naʻe, e lilo mau ia i kou nāwaliwali. Akā, ke hoʻi nei au i kaʻu mea i ʻōlelo ai ma mua, ʻo ka nui o kou hakakā ʻana iā ia, ʻoi aku ka nui o kou manaʻo a ʻoi aku ka nui o kou hele ʻana ma laila.
"Pono mākou e hoʻomau a kūʻē, no ka mea, ʻike mākou i nā mea a ke aʻo nei mākou iā lākou i kā mākou hana hou ʻana," Miguel Ángel Rizaldos
ʻAʻole lawa mākou. ʻO ka hou?
ʻO ke koi ponoʻī ʻo ia ka nānā ʻana i ka mea āu e nalo nei, a e nalo mau ana ʻoe i kekahi mea. He mea nui e pili ana i ka makemake e hoʻomalu i nā mea a pau, me ka lilo ʻana i ka perfectionist ... Noho mākou i kahi hui ma muli o ia mea pono mākou e hana mau i nā mea e manaʻo ai ka maikaʻi. Eia naʻe, ʻōlelo nā haʻawina e pili ana ko mākou ola maikaʻi iā 40% iā mākou, akā aia 60% ʻaʻole. No laila, aia kekahi manawa ʻaʻohe mea hiki ke hana a pono mākou e ʻae i kēlā.
I loko o ka puke e kamaʻilio ʻo ia e pili ana i ke kōkua ʻole. He aha ke ʻano o kēia huaʻōlelo?
He ʻano ia o ke kanaka inā ʻaʻole maikaʻi kekahi mea iā mākou, hoʻolei koke mākou i ke kāwele. ʻO ia ka manaʻo he mea ʻole kāu hana. A ʻo kēia, inā loaʻa iā mākou ma nā wahi like ʻole o ko mākou ola, hiki ke alakaʻi iā mākou i ke kaumaha. Pono ʻoe e makaʻala a ma mua o nā mea a pau e ʻike iā ia. He ʻoluʻolu loa ko mākou lolo a me ka conservative, makemake mau i nā mea maʻalahi a me ka hoʻoikaika ʻole. Eia nō naʻe, pono mākou e hoʻomau a kūʻē, no ka mea, haku mākou i nā mea a aʻo iā lākou ke hana hou mākou.
No ka hakakā ʻana, hoʻomau?
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole kūʻai ka holo kaʻa i ka manawa mua, ʻaʻole hoʻi i ka lua. Akā inā ʻōlelo ʻoe i ka lua o ka manawa ʻaʻole kūpono kēia iā ʻoe, ʻaʻole pono ia no ʻoe, ke waiho nei ʻoe i kahi mea i hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo. ʻO ka ʻike ʻana e kōkua iā mākou ʻaʻole e lawe ʻia e kēlā manaʻo.
Hiki ke hoʻonui ʻia kēia i ka hana.
Hoʻopuka pū ʻia ka hōʻeha ma ʻaneʻi, no ka mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana maikaʻi loa, akā ʻaʻole ʻike ʻia a ʻike ʻia. A he mea nui ka ʻike no ke kanaka. No laila, ma ka hana hiki iā ʻoe ke puhi inā ʻike ʻoe he mea ʻole kāu hana. Inā ʻoe hoʻokahi ma kahi wahi, maikaʻi, akā inā hoʻomaka ʻoe e loaʻa kēia manaʻo i nā ʻano like ʻole o kou ola, e komo liʻiliʻi ma ka paepae o ke kaumaha, e like me ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻia ma luna.
"ʻO ke ola i kekahi manawa e uhaʻi iā ʻoe, akā ʻo ka mea nui ka hiki ke kūkulu hou iā ʻoe iho," Miguel Ángel Rizaldos
ʻO ka hopohopo a me ke koʻikoʻi, ko mākou mau hoa kūpaʻa i kēia lā. Aia kekahi ala e hiki ai iā mākou ke mālama iā lākou?
No laila, ʻo ke koʻikoʻi ka mea e puka mai ana mai waho mai, he aha nā kūlana i kau ʻia i mua o mākou, aʻo ka hopohopo ke ʻano o ko mākou manaʻo. ʻO kēlā koʻikoʻi, ma kāna ana kūpono, kōkua iā mākou e hui pū i kā mākou hana, a ʻo ka hopohopo he ʻano kūpono i ke alo o kahi moʻolelo a i ʻole ke kūlana pilikia. No laila, ʻo ka manaʻo i kekahi ʻano o ke kaumaha a me ka hopohopo he mea maʻamau a kūlohelohe. ʻO ka pilikia i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole makemake mākou e ʻike i kā mākou mea e hana ai. He ʻoiaʻiʻo e loaʻa iā mākou nā mea hana e hoʻokele ai i mea e hoʻoluhi liʻiliʻi iā mākou a hiki iā mākou ke hoʻi i ke ala e hiki ai. ʻO ke ola i kekahi manawa e uhaʻi iā ʻoe, akā ʻo ka mea nui e hiki ke kūkulu hou.
ʻO ka pilikia ke loaʻa ka hopohopo i kēlā me kēia lā.
ʻO ia ka pilikia, aia ma laila i kēlā me kēia lā a ʻaʻohe o mākou mau mea hana e mālama ai. Akā ʻaʻole pilikia ka hopohopo a ʻaʻole koʻikoʻi. ʻO ka mea e hana ʻia i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole mālama maikaʻi ʻia a ʻaʻole alakaʻi i ka lāʻau lapaʻau a hoʻopau i ka maʻi dysthymia, kahi ʻano maʻamau o ke kaomi haʻahaʻa. Maanei hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokō i kou ola i kēlā me kēia lā, akā hele ʻoe ma ka autopilot, me ka makemake ʻole, me ka ʻole o ka hoihoi a me ka ikaika.
A impulsivity, hiki ke pale ʻia?
He ʻano hoʻololi ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka amygdala ka ʻāpana o ka lolo e pili ana i nā manaʻo a i kekahi manawa he ala pololei i ka ʻano me ka hele ʻole ma ka ʻaoʻao mua, ʻo ia ka ʻāpana kūpono. ʻO kēia ke kōkua iā mākou e ola, ʻo ka pilikia ʻo kēia ala pololei i ikaika loa. ʻO ia ke kumu e mālama iki ai ʻoe i ka amygdala. No ka hoʻokō ʻana i kēia hiki iā mākou ke hana noʻonoʻo.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke hāʻawi i kekahi mau laʻana o nā mea hana e hoʻomalu ai i kēia mau mea a mākou i kamaʻilio ai a emi ʻole ka pilikia?
Ma kekahi ʻaoʻao e ʻae ʻia, ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo makemake ʻoe a ʻike paha wau i ka mea e hiki mai ana iā ʻoe, akā e hoʻōki i ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana no ia mea, no ka mea, ua hoʻopaʻa pinepine mākou i ka hoʻopiʻi. A ʻo ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana, ua like ia me ka noho ʻōluli, neʻe ʻaʻole i mua.
ʻO ka defusion, i ʻōlelo ʻia ma luna nei, ʻaʻole mākou e hoʻolohe i nā mea āpau a mākou e manaʻo ai a manaʻo ai a neʻe mākou ma ka mea a mākou e manaʻo ai a makemake ai, ʻaʻole ma ka mea a mākou e manaʻo ai a manaʻo ai.
ʻO Mindfulness kekahi mea hana e hiki ke kōkua iā mākou. Ua pupule ka poʻe i kēia, akā e pili ana i ka nānā ʻana i nā manaʻo ʻelima i kekahi mea a i kēia manawa. ʻIke mākou he mea maikaʻi ia no mākou, no ka mea, hoʻomaʻemaʻe ia i kou manaʻo a hiki iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo pono. A ma ka noʻonoʻo pono ʻana, e hoʻoponopono i kou mau manaʻo.
E lawe me Oferplan
