Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kuqala kukutyala ukuba ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo bunjani kuba kwizibini ezininzi awazi kakuhle. Ewe, ukuthandabuza kuvela kwiimeko ezininzi zobomi, ngokubhekiselele kwinto eqhelekileyo "Ngaba ndihamba kakhulu? Ngaba ndiyenza ngokufanelekileyo? Ngaba oko ndicingayo, into endiyifunayo ...?" Amathandabuzo kunye neempazamo zokuziphatha azenzeki kuphela kubudlelwane kunye nokuhlalisana, kodwa nakwinqanaba lomntu kubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla. Ungandixeleli ukuba ngezihlandlo ezininzi ebomini bakho, ngakumbi ukuba unobuzaza obuthile (ababandayo akukho nto, xhalaba zero), awuzange uthandabuze ngaphakathi malunga nesigqibo, uluvo ... ukuba uya kuthatha, ucinga ntoni. abanye baya kwenza ebomini bakho.
Kodwa kwisibini, singayazi kakuhle into eqhelekileyo, eyona ilungileyo, incinci, inokusenza siwele imida yokuziphatha kunye / okanye sivume ukuba bawela kunye nathi, sibenzela irelativizing, kwaye oku kuhambelana kuya kwenziwa ngaphezu kwakho konke, kuba izizathu ezibini, okanye ngenxa yento endiyithethayo, yokungayazi imida yesiqhelo kakuhle (“Andazi kakuhle ukuba le nto iyenzayo kum iqhelekile na okanye ndiyibona ngendlela ebaxiweyo”) kunye nezinye. Isizathu sokulungelelanisa ukucwiliswa emanzini kwaye singeniswe ngokuxhomekeka ngokomzwelo apho yonke into ocinga ngayo "iya kutshintsha, yinto yesikhashana, ngenxa yokukhathala kwabo, kukuba banobuntu obuninzi, bandixelela ngenxa yokuba bayakhathalela ...".
Mna, ndithetha kakhulu malunga ne-intuition emangalisayo, oku kuhlala kukho ukuba kwenzeka ntoni ngexesha elithile, indlela yokusondela kuthi, indlela yokuziphatha komnye kuthi, ukuba nantoni na eyenzekayo ngaphakathi idala ukungathandeki kwaye ifike. nathi ngokungonwabi, kukho intuition emsebenzini, esibeka kwinyani yokuba oko kwenzekayo akufanele kube njalo. "Umzimba uthetha, ngethamsanqa, ngokwawo, ngaphandle kokucinga kwakho", kwaye leyo yi-intuition, "lowo ucinga okanye uziva ngawe ngaphandle kokuqiqa kwakho"
"Kwaye yintoni eqhelekileyo kwisibini?" Abaninzi baya kubuza. Ningaxabana, nibe neengxaki, ningathethisani, nicaphuke nisuke apho, kuphuma ntoni? .... Ewe, ewe kunye no-hayi, kwaye ukuba kukho iyantlukwano, into eqhelekileyo yindlela ephakanyiswa ngayo le yantlukwano kunye neengxaki, isimo sengqondo sentlonipho xa sithetha ngesihloko, ithoni esetyenzisiweyo, ukumamela ngenjongo yokusombulula kunye. ungamameli ngenjongo yokukhusela, uhloniphe iimbono zomnye ngaphandle kokugweba, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo, musa ukudlala ngokuqagela: ngokuqinisekileyo uyakwenzela abanjalo, ngokuqinisekileyo utsho ukuba, "kuthekani ukuba"... Kwaye ke ibandakanyeka ngakumbi nangakumbi, ah! kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ungathathi i-shit kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Umzuzu ngamnye weengxaki, omele ube mbalwa ukuba ungumntu oqolileyo kunye nomgaqo-siseko, kufuneka uhlale uthetha ngawo, rhoqo, kwaye ungaqapheli, ujike uhambe, wenze unetyala kwaye uyeke ukuthetha ngeveki? kwaye akukho luhlaza de ... ukuthengiswa kwe!!!! Ukuhoxiswa kwegama kunye nobukho balo ngenye yezohlwayo ezimbi kakhulu kunye nokuxhatshazwa kwengqondo, njengoko kuvakala. "Andikunaki kwaye ndikuvimbe nayiphi na indlela yokufikelela kum ukusombulula, ngaphezu "Andikuthandi", "andinomdla kuyo nayiphi na into omele undixelele yona."
Olu lubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Le ndlela yokuphikisana ayiqhelekanga (ingxoxo akufanele ibe yinto eqhelekileyo, kufuneka ibe ngumbono). Izibini ezininzi ziye zaqhela ukubona emakhayeni abo ezi ndlela zokusebenzisana phakathi kwabazali bazo nezi ndlela zokuthetha omnye nomnye kunye nokuphatha abantwana babo, kwaye kucacile ukuba ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zafundwa, zenziwa njengesiqhelo, kwaye zaqala ngesibini sokuqala ababenaso. . Kwaye ngokulandelayo. Ukongeza kokuthatha oku kufundwe kwasebuntwaneni ukuya kwisibini, sele singaphakathi kwesi sibini siye saziqhelanisa, sisulungekisa kwaye sidibanisa ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zokuthobela omnye kunye nokungabikho kwentlonipho kunye nothando. Into ebuhlungu kukuba ukhulele kusapho olwaphukileyo kunye noxhatshazo olubandakanyiweyo, ukubandezeleka okanye ukubonwa komnye wabazali. Kwaye kuyafana nokuba neqabane eliye lakuphatha kakubi. Kwaye kukuba kukho ubuqili obuninzi kule nto ... .. ukuba elinye lamalungu line-psychopathology kwaye elinye aliyazi indlela yokusingatha njengesiqhelo kwaye liphuphuma, okanye ukuba umntu ophethwe gadalala uphinde avelise ezo meko zokuxhatshazwa. iqabane elitsha kwelinye, ngaphandle kokufana, ngokuqinisekileyo, ngaphandle kokuba oku "kujoliswe ukuba kuphetshwe" ngokuhambelana, ukuyekelela, ukuthethelela ... kwicala lalowo ubandezelekayo kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, akayiqondi. ezi ndlela zokuziphatha kunye nokunyamezela.
Singabavelisi bamava amahle nabi. Into embi kakhulu ayifundi, ngokwakho, ukuphucula ukuziphatha kwakho kubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo, apho kufuneka ukuba ubuncinane kunye neyona nto iphambili luthando, intlonipho kunye nokuncoma.
Kuyavuyisa kakhulu ukwanga ngaphandle kwesizathu, ukuncamisa ngaphandle kwesizathu, ukwanga, ukucofa iesile epasejini, ukujonga kunye nokuqhwanyaza iliso, isiqhulo, "ubuhle" obuzenzekelayo, ukubamba izandla, ukufika ekhaya. kwaye ufuna ukumbona, umthumelele umyalezo we-sms ngexesha lemini, umcenge ungalindelanga, thetha ngawe, thetha ngeengxaki kunye nokuhambelana kwaye ungangcikivi, yabelana ngamaxesha ngaphandle kokuwajonga, dala ukuba babe kunye, bafuna ukuba kunye. , uve kamnandi xa ukunye naye Ooh!!!!!!! Kwaye ukuqhubela phambili kwisondo ... .. eyona nto intle kakhulu, isondo kunye nothando, ngentlonipho kunye nokuhleka. Ukwabelana ngesondo akufanele kusebenze, kwaye akuncedi ukusombulula nayiphi na ingxaki. Akhonto isonjululwa ebhedini kuphela yokhiwe, camouflaged, ipakishwe kwaye kude kube kwixesha elizayo sibe nenye enje kwaye kwakhona masikhuphe le ngxaki sisandula ukuyibuyisela engxoweni yangaphambili eqokelelweyo nengekasonjululwa. Ewe, sihlala siphosa iikiki kwaye sibone ukuba kwenzeka ntoni…..(fatal).
Ngaba ndikubudlelwane obuyityhefu? Ewe, ngokwale nto ubuyifunda, uza kuzibona njani? Kwelinye icala, ngaba kubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo? (Ndinomsebenzi omtsha kunye nendlu, indlela evuyisa ngayo! Ngaba ukwibudlelwane ngaphandle komdla? Uliphatha njani iqabane lakho? "Ubadinga" kangakanani kwaye uyabakhumbula? Ufuna kangakanani? Ufuna malini? ukubana lamntu?uthetha ngantoni naye,ixesha agqibe ngalo lishiyeke kuwe?ngubani osoloko enikezela?ongaxolisi tu...
Ngamanye amaxesha kuye kubekho uloyiko olukhulu ekuvumeni ngaphakathi ukuba ayingomntu ebomini bam kuba kuyacaca ukuba ayiyo le nto ndiyifunayo kwaye ndiziva ndibuhlungu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha siye sinyanzelise ukuba ewe, ukuba oku kubi. kwaye Akunakwenzeka ukuba oku akunakutshintsha, kwaye sinenkani kwaye sibandezeleka kwaye akukho nto iguqukayo, kwaye ngaphezu koko, sidala ukuziphatha okuthobelayo kunye nokuziphatha okugqithisileyo kunye nemikhondo enye, ukufezekisa injongo yethu: ukuba sibe sisibini esonwabileyo, kwaye akukho nto ingaphaya xa emva kwexesha ungonwabanga kwaye awunazo iimpawu ezikhokelela kuyo. Ngamanye amaxesha awutshintshi naphantsi koxinzelelo, kwaye xa utshintshela "ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa yinto", oko kuthatha iinyanga ezimbalwa kuphela, kuba indlela yokuba kunye nesidingo ayitshintshi ... Kancinci kancinci kuyabonakala ukuba ubuyela njani kwiindlela zakhe zakudala kwaye kwakhona siqala ukuhlaziya….uuff.
Kwisibini esinetyhefu, umntu uya ngokupheleleyo kwibhola yakhe, kwaye ubonisa xa efuna into okanye xa engenalo ukhetho olungcono, wenza oko akufunayo ngaphandle kokukhathalela oko omnye anokucinga okanye akufune ... kukho rhoqo. Isizathu, isizathu sokubaleka okanye ukukujula ikaka ngaphandle kokuba ngamanye amaxesha ube nento yokwenza nayo, ucaphuka njani…. Ukugqabhuka kwakhe ngumsindo nokugqajukelwa ngumsindo ngamanye amaxesha kuyakoyikisa kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kukwenza ukuba nijongane kwaye kuxa umntu onetyhefu ephinda enethuba “lokuzibeka endaweni yakho ngento ekwenza uzive unetyala….” Awunandlela yokuphuma, kwaye uhlala apho kuba ungumnikazi wakho kwaye uyayenza icace, ukuphepha.
Zininzi iindlela zokuba yityhefu, ngamanye amaxesha zicocekile kwaye abanye ngobuqili, kuxhomekeke kubukrelekrele bakho kunye nento oyifundileyo kule nto imbi efunxa iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ikhetha ububele, okwethutyana, "ngento", kwaye iyaqhubeka nokukhohlisa. wena nokuba uziva ngathi ukumkani wenkosi ngelixa, ewe, akunjalo?
Kunzima ukubona oku, ukufunda oku, ukukuqaphela kule nto, kodwa into yokuba ndiyibhala kwaye udibene nayo ayikwenzi ukuba ibe yinyani, kuba uyazi ukuba ayizukutshintsha. . Kakade ke, uba nemincili xa "ukholelwa" ukuba ngoku ewe, ukuba ngoku uThixo uyakwenza uzive, ukuphakamisela kolona lonwabo lukhulu, mhlawumbi, .... Okanye ngaba ukungathembeki kusatshutshisa, ngesizathu?
Njengobethu ubomi bunzima, obukanye kuphela kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bunzima.
Kubudlelwane bezi tyhefu, ngokukhetha ukugcina amaxesha amnandi kuzo zonke iirekhodi, ukudelela okanye ukunciphisa ezimbi, ezikhoyo kwaye zininzi. Olunjani utshaba ingqondo esinalo ngamanye amaxesha! Kodwa akasosidenge kwaye ngamanye amaxesha usibetha esihlahleni nge-intuition kunye nokungahambi kakuhle, ngokubonakalayo ... kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kuyoyikeka ukuphuma, "isizungu", utshintsho, iskimu sengqondo endifunayo kwaye ndiyayifuna. babe nobudlelwane (nokuba shitty), kunzima kodwa, "loo nto ipholile", ngakumbi xa uziva uxhaswa kwaye mhlawumbi uye wafumanisa "ezinye ihlabathi" apho into oyifunayo inokwenziwa kwaye iphindaphindwe ngo-1000. ukufumana umntu omnye umntu okuvuyisayo, kwenza kube lula ukubona apho ukhoyo kwaye uphume apho.
Ukubuyela kwiqabane lakho eliyityhefu, uziva uthembele kangakanani kuye kunye naye? ukunyaniseka kwakho akuthethi ukuba unayo, enyanisweni ukungabikho kwentlonipho kuninzi, kwaye ayisoloko iphambi kwakho, xa ethetha ngawe kwabanye (emva kwakho) edlala ixhoba ngenxa yokunyamezela okanye ukukujongela phantsi. , ukuzithethelela ukuba ungabikho okanye ungahambi nawe ngenxa yokuba unjalo kwaye unjalo ... kwaye ke, ukhangele ezinye izicwangciso zakhe ezingezizo wena kuqala, kuba akakukhathalelanga, okanye ziyizicwangciso eziyimfuneko kwaye ongenakukwazi ukuba kuyo? .
Xa umntu engazithembi, njengoko engumntu onetyhefu, ufuna ukuphinda aziqinise nakubani na... Uyakulawula, unomona, ufuna isimilo kuwe nokuba ezakhe zahlukile kwezo azifuna kuwe. Akalamkeli ubutyala bakhe, uyakhukuliseka kangangoko anako ukuya kwizinto ezingaphandle kwakhe nakuwe. Okokuqala zizinto eziphambili kubo okanye izinto eziphambili kuphela, usazi ukuba uya kunikezela kwaye uqhwabe izandla…. kwaye ndingaqhubeka nokuziphatha okuninzi ...
Hayi indlela engafanelekanga ngayo le ngxubevange yabantu abalungileyo kunye nabantu abazingcayo. Yonke into yabo, ukusuka kubo nangaphandle kwabo ... kwaye ukhona yonke imihla ukuze uqinise kwaye ukholise i-ego yabo ... ngenxa yothando lwe-pathological kunye nobubi beza ebomini bakho, okubi kuza kuba uninzi lwabagulayo bayakhusela. abantu kuquka nayo. Ngabantu abanovelwano nabalungileyo kuphela abakwaziyo ukunyamezela ukuba nobudlelwane obunetyhefu bokuphathwa ngokuqhubekayo, sele beyazi loo nto. Umgaqo, iBhayibhile ngulo: zero contact okanye usathana uya kuqalisa ukubambisa nje ukuba umnike iqhinga lamandla.
Ndinobuso kunye neencoko ezininzi apha entloko ngoku ndibhalayo, kwaye abo bandifundayo kwabo bakhe banale ncoko - ingxaki nam, baya kubonakala kwaye bakhunjulwe.
Bravo kwabo ndibaziyo, abaninzi, abaphuma apho, bona kunye nabo…..! Ole "izihombiso" zakho…(ncuma). Obo bomi bulula kwaye bunomvuzo ngakumbi ngaphandle kwalapho, akunjalo? Kwaye ukuba ngaphezulu koko ufumana intlantsi, andizukukuxelela…..!!!!!!!
MALUNGA NOMBHALI
UAna M. Angel Esteban
