ʻO ka mea nui ma mua, ʻo ia ke kanu i ke ʻano o ka pilina maʻamau no ka mea i ka hapa nui o nā kāne ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike pono. ʻAe, hiki mai ke kānalua i nā kūlana he nui o ke ola, e like me ka mea maʻamau "Ke hele lōʻihi nei wau? Ke hana nei au i ka pololei? ʻO kaʻu manaʻo, kaʻu e koi nei ...?" ʻAʻole wale nā kānalua a me nā hewa i loko o ka pilina a me ka noho pū ʻana, akā ma kahi pae hoʻokahi i ko mākou ola i kēlā me kēia lā. Mai haʻi mai iaʻu i nā manawa he nui i kou ola, ʻoiai inā loaʻa iā ʻoe kekahi ʻano naʻau (ʻaʻohe mea anu, hopohopo zero), ʻaʻole ʻoe i kānalua i loko e pili ana i ka hoʻoholo, manaʻo ... e hana ana kekahi i kou ola.
Akā, i loko o nā kāne, ʻaʻole maopopo i ka mea maʻamau, ka mea kūpono, ka liʻiliʻi loa, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻokuʻi i nā palena o ka ʻano a / a i ʻole e ʻae lākou e hele pū me mākou, e hoʻohālikelike iā lākou, a e hana ʻia kēia relativization ma luna o nā mea a pau, no ka mea. ʻelua kumu, a ma muli paha o kaʻu ʻōlelo ʻana, no ka ʻike ʻole ʻana i nā palena o ke ʻano maʻamau ("ʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu inā he mea maʻamau ka mea e hana ai iaʻu a i ʻole ke ʻike nei au ma ke ʻano hoʻonui") a ʻo kekahi ʻO ke kumu o ka relativize ʻo ia ka hoʻoheheʻe ʻia a waiho ʻia e kahi hilinaʻi naʻau i nā mea a pau āu e manaʻo ai "e loli, he manawa pōkole, no ko lākou luhi, he nui ko lākou ʻano, haʻi mai lākou iaʻu no ko lākou mālama ..."
ʻO wau, ka mea e kamaʻilio nui e pili ana i ka intuition nani, aia mau kēia inā he mea e hana nei i kahi manawa i hāʻawi ʻia, kahi ala e hoʻokokoke aku ai i kekahi iā mākou, kahi ʻano o kekahi iā mākou, inā ʻo ka mea i hana ʻia i loko e hoʻonāukiuki a hiki mai. me ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole, aia ka intuition i ka hana, kahi e waiho ai iā mākou i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole pono ka mea e hana nei. "ʻO ke kino ke ʻōlelo, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, ʻo ia wale nō, me ka ʻole o kou noʻonoʻo ʻana iā ia", a ʻo ia ka intuition, "ka mea e noʻonoʻo a manaʻo paha iā ʻoe me ka ʻole o kāu hoʻopono"
"A he aha ka mea maʻamau i nā kāne?" He nui ka poʻe e nīnau. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopaʻapaʻa, loaʻa nā pilikia, ʻaʻole kamaʻilio kekahi i kekahi, huhū a mai laila, he aha ka mea i puka mai? … ʻAe, ʻae a ʻaʻole, a inā he ʻokoʻa, ʻo ka mea maʻamau ke ala e ulu ai kēia mau ʻokoʻa a me nā pilikia, nā ʻano mahalo i ke kamaʻilio ʻana i ke kumuhana, ka leo i hoʻohana ʻia, hoʻolohe me ka manaʻo e hoʻoholo a mai hoʻolohe me ka manaʻo e pale aku, e mahalo i nā manaʻo o kekahi me ka hoʻohewa ʻole, a ʻoiaʻiʻo, mai pāʻani i ka manaʻo: ʻoiaʻiʻo e hana ʻo ia no ia mea, ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo ia e ʻōlelo nei, "pehea inā"... A no laila e komo hou aʻe ana, a! a ʻaʻole hoʻi e lawe i nā mea i hala.
ʻO kēlā me kēia manawa o nā pilikia, he mea liʻiliʻi inā he pilina makua a me ke kumu, pono e kamaʻilio mau ʻia, i nā manawa a pau, a ʻike ʻole ʻia, huli a haʻalele, hewa ʻoe a hoʻōki i ke kamaʻilio ʻana no hoʻokahi pule? ʻaʻole ʻōmaʻomaʻo a hiki i ke kūʻai ʻana o!!!! ʻO ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana o ka huaʻōlelo a me kona hele ʻana kekahi o nā hoʻopaʻi ʻino loa a me ka hoʻomāinoino naʻau, e like me ke kani. "Ke haʻalele nei au iā ʻoe a hoʻonele iā ʻoe i kahi komo ʻana iaʻu e hoʻoholo ai, me ka "ʻAʻole wau i aloha iā ʻoe", "ʻAʻole wau makemake i kekahi mea āu e haʻi mai ai iaʻu."
He pilina ʻawaʻawa kēia. ʻAʻole maʻamau kēia ʻano hoʻopaʻapaʻa (ʻaʻole pono ke kūkākūkā, he manaʻo). Ua maʻa nā kāne he nui i ka ʻike ʻana i loko o ko lākou mau home i kēia mau ʻano o ka launa pū ʻana ma waena o ko lākou mau mākua a me kēia mau ʻano o ke kamaʻilio ʻana kekahi i kekahi a me ka mālama ʻana i kā lākou mau keiki, a ʻike maopopo ʻia ua aʻo ʻia kēia mau ʻano, hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻia, a hoʻomaka me nā kāne mua i loaʻa iā lākou. . A me keia. Ma kahi o ka lawe ʻana i kēia mea i aʻo ʻia mai ka wā kamaliʻi a hiki i ka male, i loko o ka male ua hoʻololi mākou, hoʻomaʻemaʻe a hoʻohui i kēia mau ʻano o ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana i kekahi a me ka mahalo ʻole a me ke aloha. Ke ulu nei kekahi mea pōʻino i loko o kahi ʻohana haʻihaʻi me ka hoʻomāinoino ʻia, ʻeha a ʻike ʻia paha i kekahi o nā mākua. A e like me ka noho ʻana me kahi hoa hana ʻino iā ʻoe. A ʻo ia ka nui o nā mea maʻalahi i kēia… .. he psychopathology kekahi o nā lālā a ʻaʻole ʻike kekahi i ke ʻano o ka hana maʻamau a hoʻomāhuahua, a i ʻole ka mea i loaʻa i ka hoʻomāinoino e hana hou i kēlā mau kūlana o ka hana hoʻomāinoino. he hoa hou i kekahi, me ka like ole, he oiaio, ke ole keia "manaʻo e pale aku" ma ka relativizing, ae aku, hoapono ... ma ka aoao o ka mea i eha a me ka mea, aole maopopo keia mau hana a mau.
He mea hoʻopuka mākou i nā ʻike maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole. ʻO ka mea maikaʻi loa ʻaʻole ia e aʻo, ʻo ʻoe iho, e hoʻomaikaʻi i kāu ʻano ma kahi pilina maʻamau, kahi e pono ai ka liʻiliʻi a me ka mea nui ke aloha, mahalo a me ka mahalo.
He mea hauʻoli loa ka ʻapo ʻana me ke kumu ʻole, ka honi kumu ʻole, ka honi ʻana, ka ʻoki iki ʻana i ka hoki ma ke alaloa, ka nānā ʻana a me ka minoʻaka, ka ʻakaʻaka, "uʻi" maʻamau, hoʻopā lima, hiki i ka home. a makemake e ʻike iā ia, e leka uila iā ia i kahi mea lapuwale i ka lā, e hoʻowalewale iā ia me ka manaʻo ʻole, e kamaʻilio e pili ana iā ʻoe, e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā pilikia me ka hoʻopiʻi a ʻaʻole hoʻohewa ʻia, e kaʻana like i nā manawa me ka ʻole o ka ʻimi ʻana iā lākou, e hana iā lākou e hui pū, makemake e hui pū. , ʻoluʻolu loa ke noho pū ʻoe me ia Ooh!!!!!!! A ke neʻe nei i ka moekolohe…ʻo ka mea maikaʻi loa, ka moekolohe me ke aloha, me ka mahalo a me ka ʻakaʻaka. ʻAʻole pono ka moe kolohe, ʻaʻole hoʻi e hoʻoponopono i kekahi pilikia. ʻAʻohe mea i hoʻoholo ʻia ma kahi moe, hana wale ʻia, kāʻili ʻia, paʻa a hiki i ka manawa aʻe e loaʻa hou iā mākou kekahi e like me kēia a e lawe pū kākou i kēia pilikia a mākou i hoʻihoʻi ai i loko o ka ʻeke o nā mea i hōʻiliʻili mua ʻia a i hoʻoholo ʻole ʻia. ʻAe, hoʻomau mākou i ka kiki a ʻike i ka mea e hana ana…..(fatal).
Aia wau i loko o kahi pilina ʻawaʻawa? ʻAe, e like me kāu e heluhelu nei, pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai iā ʻoe iho? Ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, he pilina maʻamau anei ʻoe? (He ʻoihana hou kaʻu a me ka hale, pehea ka hoihoi! Aia ʻoe i kahi pilina ma muli o ka hoihoi? Pehea ʻoe e hana ai i kāu hoa? Pehea ka nui o kāu "makemake" iā lākou a makemake ʻoe iā lākou? Pehea ʻoe makemake e noho pū me kēlā kanaka? He aha kāu e kaʻana like ai iā ia, ʻo nā manawa āna i hoʻoholo ai e waiho ʻia no ʻoe? ʻO wai ka hāʻawi mau? ʻO wai e kala ʻole...
I kekahi manawa, nui ka makaʻu i ka ʻae ʻana iā ʻoe iho ʻaʻole ʻo ia ke kanaka i loko o koʻu ola no ka mea he mea maopopo ʻaʻole ʻo ia kaʻu makemake a manaʻoʻiʻo au, akā i kekahi manawa ke koi nei mākou e ʻae, he ʻano ʻino kēia. ʻAʻole hiki ke hoʻololi kēia, a paʻakikī mākou a ʻeha a ʻaʻohe mea e loli, a ʻo ka mea hou aku, ke hana nei mākou i nā ʻano hoʻohaʻahaʻa a koʻikoʻi a me nā hōʻailona no ka mea ʻē aʻe, e hoʻokō i kā mākou pahuhopu: e lilo mākou i kāne hauʻoli, a. ʻAʻohe mea ʻē aʻe inā ʻaʻole ʻoe hauʻoli ma hope o ka manawa a ʻaʻole ʻoe e loaʻa nā ʻano e alakaʻi ai iā ia. I kekahi manawa ʻaʻole ʻoe e loli ma lalo o ke kaomi, a i ka wā e hoʻololi ai ʻoe no ka "makaʻu i ka nalowale ʻana i kekahi mea", ʻo ia wale nō ka lōʻihi o kekahi mau mahina, no ka mea, ʻaʻole loli ke ʻano o ka noho ʻana a me ka nele... ʻIke liʻiliʻi ʻia ke ʻano o kona hoʻi ʻana i kona mau ʻaoʻao kahiko a hoʻomaka hou mākou e relativize….uuff.
I loko o kahi kāne ʻawaʻawa, hele loa kekahi i kāna pōleʻa, a hōʻike i kona makemake i kekahi mea a i ʻole ke koho ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, hana ʻo ia i kāna makemake me ka manaʻo ʻole i ka manaʻo a i ʻole ka hemahema o kekahi ... he kumu, he kumu e pakele ai a i ʻole e hoʻolei aku iā ʻoe me ka ʻole o kekahi manawa āu e hana ai me ia, pehea ʻoe e huhū ai…. ʻO kona huhū a me kona huhū huhū i kekahi manawa e hoʻoweliweli iā ʻoe a i nā manawa ʻē aʻe e hoʻohālikelike ai kekahi i kekahi a ʻo ia ka manawa e loaʻa hou ai i ka mea ʻawaʻawa ka manawa e "hoʻokomo iā ʻoe iho i kou wahi me kahi mea e hewa ai ʻoe ...." ʻAʻohe ou ala i waho, a noho ʻoe ma laila no ka mea ʻo ia kou haku a hoʻomaopopo ʻoe, e pale aku.
Nui nā ala e lilo ai i mea ʻawaʻawa, i kekahi manawa maʻemaʻe a me nā mea ʻē aʻe me nā maʻalahi, e hilinaʻi ana i kou naʻauao a me nā mea āu i aʻo ai mai kēia mea ʻino e hōʻeha i kou mau manaʻo a he ʻano maikaʻi loa, no ka manawa pōkole, no ka "no kekahi mea", a hoʻomau i ka hoʻopunipuni. ʻoiai inā ʻoe e like me ke aliʻi o ka mambo ʻoiai, ʻae, ʻaʻole anei?
He paʻakikī ke ʻike i kēia, heluhelu i kēia, ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe i kēia, akā ʻo kaʻu e kākau nei a ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole ia e hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, no ka mea, ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole ia e loli. . ʻOiaʻiʻo, hauʻoli ʻoe i ka wā e "manaʻoʻiʻo" ʻoe i kēia manawa ʻae, i kēia manawa ke hāʻawi nei ke Akua iā ʻoe i ka manaʻo, e hoʻokiʻekiʻe iā ʻoe i ka hauʻoli kiʻekiʻe, malia paha, ...
E like me kā mākou paʻakikī i ke ola, hoʻokahi wale nō a paʻakikī i kekahi manawa.
Ma ka pilina o kēia mau mea ʻawaʻawa, e mālama pono i nā manawa maikaʻi i nā moʻolelo a pau, e hoʻowahāwahā a hōʻemi paha i nā mea ʻino, aia ma laila a ʻoi aku ka nui. He lolo ʻenemi kā mākou i kekahi manawa! Akā, ʻaʻole naʻe ʻo ia i naʻaupō a i kekahi manawa e paʻi ʻo ia iā mākou ma ka lima me ka ʻike a me ka ʻoluʻolu, me ka maopopo ... akā i kekahi manawa he mea weliweli ke hele i waho, ʻo ka "loneliness", ka hoʻololi, ka manaʻo noʻonoʻo o kaʻu makemake a me au. loaʻa kahi pilina (ʻoiai inā he ʻano ʻino), paʻakikī akā, "ʻoluʻolu kēlā", ʻoiai ke manaʻo ʻoe i ke kākoʻo ʻia a malia paha ua ʻike ʻoe i nā "honua ʻē aʻe" kahi āu e makemake ai e hiki ke hana a hoʻonui pū ʻia me 1000. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka loaʻa ʻana o kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe e hoʻohauʻoli iā ʻoe, e maʻalahi ke ʻike i kou wahi a hele i waho.
Ke hoʻi nei i kāu hoa ʻawaʻawa, pehea kou hilinaʻi iā ia a iā ia? ʻAʻole manaʻo kou ʻoiaʻiʻo ua loaʻa iā ia, ʻoiaʻiʻo ka nui o ka mahalo ʻole ʻia, ʻaʻole i nā manawa a pau i mua ou, ke kamaʻilio ʻo ia e pili ana iā ʻoe i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe (ma hope o kou kua) e pāʻani ana i ka mea i hōʻeha ʻia no ka hoʻomanawanui ʻana a i ʻole ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana iā ʻoe. , e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ana ʻaʻole i laila a ʻaʻole hele pū me ʻoe no ka mea ʻo ʻoe a pēlā ... a maikaʻi, ke ʻimi nei ʻo ia i kāna mau hoʻolālā ʻē aʻe ʻaʻole ʻo ia kāna mea nui, no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻo ia e mālama iā ʻoe, a i ʻole nā papahana kūpono a kahi hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke komo? .
I ka haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa o ke kanaka, ʻoiai he kanaka ʻawaʻawa ʻo ia, ʻimi ʻo ia e hōʻoia hou iā ia iho akā naʻe a me kēlā me kēia ... Manaʻo ʻo ia iā ʻoe, lili ʻo ia, koi ʻo ia i nā ʻano mai iā ʻoe inā ʻokoʻa kāna mau ʻano mai nā mea āna i koi ai iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e ʻae i kona hewa, ua neʻe ʻo ia e like me kona hiki i nā mea i waho ona a iā ʻoe. ʻO ka mea mua, ʻo kā lākou mau mea nui a i ʻole nā mea nui wale nō, me ka ʻike e hāʻawi ʻoe a mahalo pū kekahi…. a e hoʻomau au i nā ʻano hana hou aʻe...
ʻAʻole kūpono kēia hui ʻana o ka poʻe maikaʻi me ka poʻe ponoʻī. ʻO nā mea a pau no lākou, mai lākou a mai waho hoʻi no lākou ... a aia ʻoe ma laila i kēlā me kēia lā e hoʻoikaika a hōʻoluʻolu i kā lākou kālā ... kanaka me ia. ʻO ka poʻe ʻoluʻolu a maikaʻi wale nō ke hiki ke hoʻomanawanui i loko o kahi pilina ʻawaʻawa o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa mau ʻana, ua ʻike mua ʻia. ʻO ke kānāwai, ʻo ka Baibala: zero contact a i ʻole e hoʻomaka ka diabolo i ka wā e hāʻawi ai ʻoe iā ia i kahi kahe o ka mana.
He nui koʻu mau helehelena a me nā kamaʻilio ma koʻu poʻo i kēia manawa i koʻu kākau ʻana, a ʻo ka poʻe e heluhelu mai iaʻu i ka poʻe i loaʻa kēia kamaʻilio - pilikia me aʻu, e ʻike ʻia a hoʻomanaʻo ʻia.
Bravo no ka poʻe aʻu i ʻike ai, he nui, ka poʻe i puka mai i laila, ʻo lākou a me lākou…..! E ʻoluʻolu i kāu "mea hoʻonani"…(ʻakaʻaka). ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o ke ola a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma waho o laila, ʻaʻole anei? A inā loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi huna huna, ʻaʻole wau e haʻi aku iā ʻoe…!!!!!!!
NO KA MEA KAKAU
Ana M. Angel Esteban
